Showing posts tagged screenplay
  • Bridget: (in German) Well, my two cameraman friends need to find their seats.
  • (Col. Landa stops a WAITER with a tray of champagne glasses)
  • Col. Landa: (in German) Not so fast. Let's enjoy some champagne.
  • (Everyone gets a glass)
  • Col. Landa: (in French) - Oh, Madaemoiselle Mimieux, please join us. I have some friends I'd like you to meet.
  • (Shosanna joins the circle and is handed a champagne glass)
  • (This is the first moment the Basterds are aware of Shoshanna)
  • Col. Landa: (in French) May I say, Mademoiselle, you look divine.
  • Shosanna: (in French) Merci.
  • Col. Landa: (in German) This lovely young lady is Mademoiselle Emmanuelle Mimieux. This is her cinema, and she is our hostess for the evening. (in French) And, Mademoiselle, this battered, broken, and none-worse-for-the-wear German goddess, is Bridget von Hammersmark.
  • Bridget: Bonjour.
  • Shosanna: Bonjour.
  • Bridget: (in French) I'm afraid my companions don't speak any French. They're Italian. This is Antonio, Enzo, and Dominick.
  • (All three smile goofy, spaghetti-bender smiles)
  • Col. Landa: (in French) Actually, Fräulein von Hammersmark's Italian associates need help finding their seats. Perhaps Mademoiselle Mimieux would be so kind as to escort them?
  • Shosanna: (in French) It would be my pleasure. Let me see your tickets?
  • (Donny hands her two tickets. She indicates fro them to follow her)
  • (Donny and Hirschberg both exchange one last look with Aldo, then follow the young French girl into the auditorium)
  • INT-AUDITORIUM-NIGHT
  • (The cinema auditorium is filing up quickly with gray and black uniforms)
  • (Shosanna finds the two counterfeit Italians their seats)
  • (After she points out their seats, she turns to leave...)
  • (Hirschberg...)
  • (reaches out and grabs her wrists...)
  • (He looks her in the face and, filled with tremendous guilt, because if he's successful tonight he's going to blow up this cute French girl to smithereens, he says...)
  • Hirschberg: Grazie.
  • (The cute French girl looks back at the goofy-looking Italian boy with slicked-back hair that makes him look kind of Jewish with tremendous guilt, knowing if she is successful tonight, she's going to burn him alive, and says...)
  • Shosanna: Prego.
  • BRIDGET: ...I know this is a silly question before I ask, but can you Americans speak any other language than English?
  • HIRSCHBERG: Other than Yiddish?
  • BRIDGET: Preferably.
  • SGT. DONOWITZ: (referring to Aldo and himself) We both speak a little Italian.
  • BRIDGET: With an atrocious accent, no doubt. But that doesn't exactly kill us in the crib. Germans don't have a good ear for Italian. So you mumble Italian and brazen through it, is that the plan?
  • LT. ALDO: That's about it.
  • BRIDGET: Sounds good.
  • LT. ALDO: It sounds like shit, but what else we gonna do, go home?
  • BRIDGET: No, it's good. If you don't blow it with that, I can get you in the building. (changes tone) So, who does what?
  • LT. ALDO: Well, I speak the most Italian, so I'll be your escort. Donowitz speaks the second most, so he'll be your Italian cameraman. And Hirschberg third most, so he'll be Donny's assistant.
  • HIRSCHBERG: I don't speak Italian.
  • LT. ALDO: Like I said, third best. Just keep your fuckin' mouth shut. In fact, why don't you start practicing right now.
  • BRIDGET: (meaning Utivich) What about the little one?
  • UTIVICH: You mean me?
  • BRIDGET: I didn't mean any offense.
  • UTIVICH: None taken, you German cunt.
  • LT. ALDO: Utivich is the chauffeur.
  • UTIVICH: I can't drive.
  • BRIDGET: (screams in frustration) You Americans are fucking useless!
  • UTIVICH: Gimmie a break. I'm from Manhattan.
  • LT. ALDO: No worries, son. We got over fourteen hours before the movie tomorrow. More than enough time for you to learn to drive.
  • UTIVICH: No, no, no, no, Lieutenant, it's not!
  • LT. ALDO: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, Private, it is. And yes, yes, yes, yes you will. (changes tone) Look, Utivich, you and I both know, if we went to grade school together, you damn sure ain't copyin' off of my test. Well, I lernt to drive in four hours on a Tennessee mountain road. And I'm a shit-for-brains coal miner bootlegger. Hirschberg, you know how to drive, right?
  • HIRSCHBERG: Yes.
  • LT. ALDO: Teach 'im.
  • BRIDGET: But there is a problem. I'm a movie star. This is a movie premiere. I can't show up looking like I was just in a Nazi gunfight. Now I have a dress for the premiere at my hotel. But sometime tomorrow I have to get my hair done.
  • (All the Basterds, except Donny, burst out laughing)
  • LT. ALDO: Sister, you must got wunderbar luck. Guess who went to beauty school?
  • (The camera whip-pans to SGT. DONOWITZ)
  • (Bridget rolls her eyes)

(immediately after this)

CUT TO INT-HALLWAY APARTMENT BUILDING-DAY

Donny, dressed nice, in an apartment building in his Jewish Boston neighbourhood. He knocks on a door.

A VERY OLD JEWISH WOMAN opens the door, only a little, peering out at the young man.

OLD WOMAN
How can I help you?

DONNY
Mrs. Himmelstein?

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
State your business, young man.

DONNY
Mrs. Himmelstein, I’m Donny Donowitz, My father, Sy Donowitz, owns the barber shop on Greeny Ave. Sy’s Barber Shop.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
I’ve seen it. Do you live in the neighborhood?

DONNY
All my life.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
Again, state your business?

DONNY
May I have a word with you?

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
What about?

DONNY
Our people in Europe.

She thinks for a beat, then holds the door open for the young man.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
Come in. Would you like some tea?

INT-MRS. HIMMELSTEIN’S APARTMENT-DAY

Donny sits on an overstuffed sofa, holding a tea cup and saucer in his hand. Mrs. Himmelstein sits on an overstuffed chair, holding her tea, looking across at her visitor.

DONNY
(sipping tea)
Very good.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
If you like tea.

Donny chuckles at her little joke. The old woman remains stone. She wasn’t joking. He places his saucer on the table and begins:

DONNY
Mrs. Himmelstein, do you have loved ones over in Europe who you’re concerned for?

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
What compels you, young man, to ask a stranger such a personal question?

DONNY
Because I’m going to Europe. And I’m gonna make it right.

MRS HIMMELSTEIN
And just how do you intend to do that, Joshua?

He holds up his bat.

DONNY
With this.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
And what exactly do you intend to do with that toy?

DONNY
I’m gonna beat every Nazi I find to death with it.

She takes another sip of tea.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
I thought we were having tea together.

Donny picks up his cup and takes a sip.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
And in this pursuit, how is that I can be of service?

DONNY
I’m going through the neighborhood. If you have any loved ones in Europe whose safety you fear for, I’d like you to write their name on my bat.

BACK TO BASTERDS
Donna takes a long walk to Werner…

PVT. BUTZ
watches all this…

As WE CUT BACK and FORTH BETWEEN DONNY WALKING and WERNER WAITING, WE ALSO CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN DONNY and MRS. HIMMELSTEIN…

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
You must be a real basterd, Donny.

DONNY
You bet your sweet ass I am.

MRS. HIMMELSTEIN
Had me your sword, Gideon. I do believe I will join you on this journey.

She signs the BAT: “MADELEINE.”

Donny steps up to the plate, looking down at the Nazi: He sees the Iron Cross hanging from the German Sgt’s right pocket. The Jew taps the German’s medal with the end of his bat.

DONNY
You get that for killing jews?

SGT. RACHTMAN
Bravery.

Donny gives him a “oh yeah, we’ll see about that,” look.

The Bear Jew raises the bat up high over his shoulder and brings it down hard against the side of the Rachtman’s head.

Donny beats Werner to DEATH WITH THE BAT, to the cheers of the basterds.

(Note: I transcribed this word for word from the screenplay. All typos included.)

LT. ALDO
Actually, Werner, we’re all tickled ya said that. Frankly, watchin’ Donny beat Nazis to death is the closet we get to going’ to the movies.
(YELLING)
DONNY!

SGT. DONOWITZ
He turns to the camera and yells:
Yeah?

LT. ALDO
Got a German here wants to die for his country. Oblige him.

SGT. DONNY DONOWITZ
bat over his shoulder, smiles.

CUT TO INT-BARBER SHOP (BOSTON)-DAY

Donny, cutting heads, in his pop’s barber shop, in Boston.

DONNY
…ya got the goddamn, fuckin’ Germans, declaring open season on Jews in Europe, and I’m suppose to fly to the fuckin’ Philippines and fight a bunch of fuckin’ Japs-not me, pal. If we just go in this against the Japs, the whole U.S. of fuckin’ A can go take a running jump at the moon.

HEAD
You know, they got a word for what you’re sayin’ Donny. It’s called treason.

DONNY
Hey, stick your treason up your poop hole. If I’m gonna kill my fellow man in the name of liberty, that fellow man will be German.

INT-SPORTING GOODS STORE-DAY

MR. GOOROWITZ’S sporting goods shop in Donny’s Jewish Boston neighborhood. Donny walks in.

MR. GOOROWITZ
Hello, Donny. How are you?

DONNY
Ah, just dandy, Mr. Goorowitz.

MR. GOOROWITZ
Your mother, your father-everything good there?

DONNY
They’re just fine. I’m shippin’ off next week.

The store proprietor extends his hand to the young man.

MR. GOOROWITZ
Good for you, son. Kill one of those Nazi basterds for me, will ya?

DONNY
That the idea, Mr. Goorowitz.

MR. GOOROWITZ
What can I do you for, Donny?

DONNY
I need a baseball bat.

The store owner leads him to a basket with eight bats in it. Donny starts going through them without saying anything.

Mr. Goorowitz watches.

MR. GOOROWITZ
You gettin’ your little brother a present before you ship out?

Donny, concentrating on the bats, not looking up:

DONNY
No.

Donny’s “no” silences the gabby Goorowitz. He seems to settle on one, feeling its weight in his hands.

DONNY
Can I try this one on for size, outside?

Extending his arm:

MR. GOOROWITZ
Be my guest.

The phone rings.

MR. GOOROWITZ
I’ll get that. You go right ahead.

The proprietor answers the phone and gets into a conversation with his OFFSCREEN mother.

Donny walks outside. WE STAY IN STORE but can see him clearly through the store’s big picture window.

However, Mr. Goorowitz instinctively turns his back to Donny to speak with his mother.

Donny starts swinging the bat. It’s pretty obvious he’s pantomiming beating someone to death with it. Then he starts yelling:

DONNY
Take that, ya Nazi basterd! You like fuckin’ with the Jews? Wanna fuck with the Jews? The American Jews are gonna FUCK with you…!

Mr. Goorowitz sees none of this as he speaks to his mother. He hangs up the phone just as Donny walks back into the store. The store owner turns to the store customer.

DONNY
Is this the heaviest ya got?

(right after Colonel Hans Landa has left Perrier LaPadite’s farmhouse in France, after the brutal slaying of Shosanna Dreyfus’ family)

EXT-NAZI TOWN CAR (MOVING) - DAY

Col. Hans Landa sits in the backseat of the convertible that’s speeding away from the French farmhouse.

COL. LANDA
Herrman, I sense a question on your lips? Out with it?

DRIVER
Why did you allow an enemy of the state to escape?

COL. LANDA
Oh, I don’t think the state is in too much danger, do you?

DRIVER
I suppose not.

COL. LANDA
I’m glad you see it my way. Besides, not putting a bullet in the back of a fifteen-year-old girl and allowing her to escape are not necessarily the same thing. She’s a young girl, no food, no shelter, no shoes, who’s just witnessed the massacre of her entire family She may not survive the night. And after word spreads about what happened today, it’s highly unlikely she will find any willing farmers to extend her aid. If I had to guess her fate, I’d say she’ll probably be turned in by some neighbor. Or she’ll be spotted by some German soldier. Or we’ll find her body in the woods, dead from starvation or exposure. Or, perhaps…she’ll survive. She will elude capture. She will escape to America. She will move to New York City, where she will be elected president of the United States.

The S.S. colonel chuckles at his little funny.